dear chicken in cage #114985,

(i know you're in a cage because when we were at the grocery store, i heard my mom say, "when they make cage-free the same price as the others, then i'll buy them." even though she saw the special on oprah about how inhumane it is for you. i really think it should be her writing this letter, but anyway.) my mommy is making me write this letter to apologize for what i did today. all twelve of the eggs that you so graciously donated to meijer ended up on the floor somehow. :) i didn't think it would be nice to include pictures, but if you knew my mom, you'd know she can't post w/out them. you see, i was right here when my mommy went to change clothes.

 

but, it must have slipped her mind that it was snack time, so i went to the kitchen. i didn't want to bother her. she never gets a moment to herself. i thought i was doin' a nice thing. helping her. but that's not how she saw it. i just can't win for loosin'. but she must not have been too mad. she went and got her camera before she cleaned it up.
exhibit a:

 

exhibit b:

 

i am "weally sorwwy." i hope you do not decide to stop donating your eggs. i like them scrambled with cheese. (oops. that was probably too much information.)
yours truly,
wes

me: who's a mess?
wes: imma mess!

no arguments here.

 

you know i like my chicken fried

(apparently, my kids are in some sort of gang. not sure when that happened.)
okay, so a friend of mine made a comment. (i'm not gonna mention names.) his name is peter. peter is from chicago. or one of the communities known as..."near chicago, illinois." anyway. peter is now living in henderson with my family. he made this comment (in a description of a pic of him on facebook.) it said, "one of my best days here in the land of fried chicken." can you sense the sarcasm? you see, i think he grew up eatin' stuff like almond butter, fish oil and tofu. i let him know, right away, that he shouldn't be makin' fun. some of us would give a digit (probably just one of my middle toes) to be back in the land of fried chicken. and homemade biscuits. fried pickles. real bar-b-q. country ham. fried potatoes. fried salmon patties. fried pork chops. yum-yums (you hendersonians know what i'm talkin''bout). this is the stuff i grew up on. now, don't get me wrong. since i became a mother, i have turned from the days of "crisco" and now buy things like...hummus, natural peanut butter, hormone free milk, and meats, buckwheat pancakes, whole wheat breads, organic fruits and veggies. but, when our butts get in that van, to head home, all bets are off! we eat nothin' but lard for three days. and, let me tell you...no regrets! and that's the way it should be. you should never eat somethin' and think, "man! that was a waste of calories!"

anyway, on with the show. really there is no show, i was going to blog about laney's b-day. my little niece turned two on valentine's day. and that is so fitting. laney loves whole hearted. when she hugs you, you know she means it. and i love her! happy birthday, laney. *total side note...she can't say wes correctly. guess how she says it. did you guess? you'll never guess. okay, ass. she ran around my house last night playin' hide-and-seek, yellin', "ass! ass!" so fitting for their, "celebrity-bodyguard" relationship. :)


oh...and mamaw (queen biscuit maker)and papaw rolland say, "hi!"

i'll take, "sitings of cupid's vomit," for $1000. please, alex.

who put that purple jelly in my collage? what is the comer house? you are correct! (clap, clap, clap, clap)
okay, so, i love february. not as much as i love fall, but there is some definite love goin' on for this month. it's not only my birthday month, but it has a lot goin' for it. valentine's day. president's day. black history month. laney's b-day. my parent's b-day. my papaw's b-day. i have really asked God (more than once), "why january?" why not, december and then february? it would be one happy month to the next. and then, we would head right into spring. will just asked, "why? because you want to be 31, mommy?" no, my son, not really. who taught you how to read, anyway?

happy love day! and to my valentine, here is somethin' i heard on wonder pets today, but adapted it to our love. art really imitates life. and my life can obviously be summed up in a nick jr. cartoon. here's proof...

if i'm lost in the dark,
or bein' chased by a shark.
if i'm stuck in somethin' sticky,
or i sat in somethin' icky.
you fly in and always help me out.

if i'm stranded on dry land.
or some spooky island. (who would complain about this one?)
or i'm slippin' on some slime that's really gooey.

when a wave's really wushy,
and crabs are pinchin' my tushy.
you always know exactly what to do.

that's why i'm here.
that's why it's true.
for all that you've done,
and all that you'll do.
scooter...i love you!

some people might think this is sad. but, you have to learn to draw from what you live. and, my friends, i live wonder pets!
i love you guys...my valentine's!

(no)cheese(cup)cake factory

 

will's wit of the week:
(in the van...leaving church sunday)
me: hey guys! who wants to go to the cheesecake factory? (we hadn't eaten out at all in 7 days! score 1 for the comer's)
maddie: yeah! alright! woo-hoo!
will: no! i don't want to go there! let's go to olive garden.
me: ughhh. why not cheesecake factory? it's good, will!
will: 'cause. i don't like cheese! and i'm not really a fan of cake. maybe cupcakes.

to each their own.
(this was will (not)modeling for one of my photography assignments. needless to say, i didn't get the shot. but he's still too cute. don'tcha think?)

not me! monday!

so, me thinks there may be a pattern here. last time i got the urge to do this, i believe i was reachin' for the same bottle of midol. hmmm...

this weekend, i did not do the following...

• totally take advantage of my sweet hubby saturday night. i did not lay in bed, reading my new glamour, while he rubbed my lower back and brought me a glass of pinot noir.
• proceed to make a mental note , "maybe i could drag this thing out through monday night. the bachelor is not on tonight :)
• reply to his text just now (miss you! love you!) with "ditto!"
• keep score (in my head of course) at will's upward game. all the while thinkin', "not keepin' score is for wienies! we so beat you!"
• yell at will, out of my sister's car window, (as we were leaving to go shopping) "go get daddy off the couch and tell him to come play with you! it's too pretty out today! love, love!"

nope, not me!

the way i see it

i am their ambassador of antioxidants, man. (sorry, really random jerry maguire reference there, won't happen again!)
ahem, movin' right along with this pointless blog. i am a firm believer of this... if someone is babysittin' your kids "pro bono", you really have no say as to how many popsicles they ingest! omgoodness, who said that? they were, technically, a healthy option over let's say...chocolate cake. (please reference picture of box). can anyone really ever get too much pomegranate? bryce just kept holdin' up the empty stick. he wouldn't let me see his face for anything. just..."hit me, lady!" brayden, on the other hand, is just like his daddy..."look at me! look at me!" omgoodness, who said that? oh, their 'rents know i ain't got nuttin' but love for 'em! nuttin' but love!

things that make you go hmmmmmm

okay, really it made me go, "huh?" first. the hmmmmm came much later.

at (a place that will remain anonymous) today, i was walkin' behind some of the people who work there. i know most of them, but apparently not as well as i thought. the only guy in the bunch turned to ask the only pregnant girl in the bunch a question. and i quote,"so, can you like get pregnant while you're pregnant?" (this is where the, "huh?" came.) she turned around and i was standin' right behind her with my mouth open wide. no one laughed for a few seconds and then we all started crackin' jokes, like "thank God, no!" "i'm so fertile, my doctor would never know who was comin' or goin'!" and so on. and so on.

now, at first, i was like them. i was thinkin', "oh, i'm so glad that's not possible. that would be really weird." but then the hmmmm came. "hmmmm, who dropped the ball on this guy?" i mean he's probably around 20-21. he's in college. (now, it is my belief that he is battin' for the other team, but that is neither here nor there.) i mean, where were his parents? what schools did he go to? who were his friends? no matter how you slice it, society has failed this young man somewhere along the way. go ahead...let it out. "hmmmm."

now you all know how i feel about havin' a pic with a post. so here. i didn't think it would be nice to go back and ask him if i could take a picture of him for my blog. :0

in case you were wondering...yes, his labor was in vain. it's already covered back up. and then some. viva the snow blower! or better yet, viva fiji!